Top 50, Bit by Shark

If I was less lazy, I'd make a list of the top 50 celebrities I'd like to get bit by a shark (bit, not killed). On that list, Ryan Seacrest would be somewhere between #5 and #15. And every day, I'd hope he'd get bit along with the 49 other celebrities.

Well, my dreams came true. Ryan Seacrest got bit by a shark. And he made my day in the process. So, I salute your misfortune Mr. Seacrest. Unfortunately the rest of your life seems to be great, you talentless hack......

Ironically, it's also Shark Week on the Discovery Channel.

The Japanese Office

Thanks for sending me this Brooke.

This is kind of funny. The characters actually look pretty close to their American counterparts.....

And Ricky Gervais' last comment at the end of the video is hilarious.

Video Mania

I will eventually take photos of my coming and very daunting tasks. But I'm too lazy to pic up my camera phone and actually do that. plus the quality is always sub, sub, sub-par. Anyhow. During these times at the library, I browse other people's blogs. I'm a blog-stealer if you will. Well not really. I just try and share what other people find with you, those who care to read my crap writing.

Greg Oden, ESPY host tryouts. Hilariousness. Did you know Greg went to school with John McCain and was alive for both WW 1 and WW 2? I didn't.....until I watched this video.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Ricky Rubio - the next best thing in the NBA that might never come to the NBA. Well, scratch that, I think he'll come over in 2009 whene he's of age. Right now, this kid is a 17 year old prodigy who has been playing pro-ball since around the age of 14 if I recall. The kid has major skills. ESPN the Mag profiled him in last month's edition, but true, hoop heads knew about this kid long ago. (see here, and here). Anyway, watch the stunner of a play as seen on ball don't lie and dimemag.com



And in non-video mania news....I still haven't seen the Dark Knight. I believe Brooke and I are the last two humans on earth who have yet to see the movie. Cue Jayson Louie smart-remark-comment.

And In Music News....

Clipse get Rick Rubin production!? Score one for good music. Why does this mean something? Well during my aforementioned drives to work, I of course listened to music. Some of it being music from a few years ago. Clipse, Hell Hath No Fury was one of those albums. It was a doozy of a CD. Dark, but sick beats. So it got me thinking, I heard that the Clipse's next album wasn't going to be strictly Pharell (or the Neptunes rather) and I was concerned. The Neptunes provided the type of cohesiveness 95% of all music is lacking these days, most particularly with rap. Everything is so formulaic. Club Track + gangsta track + 5 of the producers of the moment + one mushy song = album. Old, lame, and the sounds of the album is all over the place. I don't want an album full of singles, I want an ALBUM.

Anyway, they appear to be doing some of that hot producer of the moment stuff. But cohesiveness can be achieved through sound and not necessarily the use of the same producer. Only time will tell. Till the Casket Drops, hopefully coming soon.

And in other music news, "But you can't blame me.....if I set this stage on fire," apparently is synonymous with "Don't play with me, cause cause you're playing with fire." At least according to the owners of the Rolling Stone's publishing rights. That's right. Those loveable d-bags are suing Lil Wayne for his song "Playing with Fire." I'm just a law school kid. I don't do the whole copyright infringment stuff (yet), so I can't tell you what will happen. But someone might want to ask the Verve how things went over with "Bittersweet Symphony."

Likely outcome? Rolling Stones: 2, Lil Wayne and the Verve, 0.

By the way, I strongly recommend both Clipse's "Hell Hath No Fury," and Lil Wayne's "Carter III" if you're a fan of hip hop / rap music.

Speeding Tickets

While driving 60+ miles a day (to and fro, to and fro) to my internship, I was often worried about speeding tickets. On certain days, the cops would be lurking, looking to dish out sweet justice (cause speeding is such a serious crime....or a revenue generator, I forget which one).

I was fortunate, never got popped (knock on wood). I maintained moderate speeds (5-10 miles above the limit) and always let people go a bit faster than me. In 9 weeks, I didn't get a ticket (again, knocking on wood).

CNN recently dropped some tips on how to avoid tickets. So if you like to drive a littler faster than some, but not as fast as others, check it out.

USA Basketball

If you couldn't tell, I get geeked out on all things basketball. Here's the upcoming Olympic team television schedule.

USA vs. Canada 8 p.m. ET, ESPNHD, ESPN360.com

THURSDAY, JULY 31
USA vs. Turkey 8 a.m. ET, ESPN2, ESPN360.com
USA vs. Turkey, Re-Air 8 p.m. ET, ESPN2

FRIDAY, AUGUST 1
USA vs. Turkey, Re-Air 6:30 a.m. ET, ESPNU
USA vs. Lithuania 8 a.m. ET, ESPN2, ESPN360.com
USA vs. Turkey, Re-Air 8 p.m. ET, ESPNU

SATURDAY, AUGUST 2
USA vs. Lithuania, Re-Air 3 a.m. ET, ESPN2

SUNDAY, AUGUST 3
USA vs. Russia 3 a.m. ET, ESPN2, ESPN360.com
USA vs. Lithuania, Re-Air 5:30 p.m. ET, ESPNU
USA vs. Russia, Re-Air 7 p.m. ET, ESPN2
USA vs. Russia, Re-Air 10 p.m. ET, ESPNU

MONDAY, AUGUST 4
USA vs. Russia, Re-Air 6 a.m. ET, ESPNU

TUESDAY, AUGUST 5
USA vs. Australia 8 a.m. ET, ESPN2. ESPN360.com
USA vs. Australia, Re-Air 8 p.m. ET, ESPN2

Set your Tivos, dvrs, or vcrs. It's gonna be amazing!

Also, Truehoop has had some good coverage on Josh Childress' move across the pond. Delonte West is apparently contemplated a move and a few lesser known NBA kids have moved over there as well. I like the move. Scratch that, I LOVE the move. Get paid! The NBA treats players as machines, and to see these lesser known players have bargaining power is definitely a good thing. Plus all the money they make overseas is apparently tax free (how that works, I have no idea).

Laughter

Laughter was few and far between today. Well actually, lunch was packed with laughs. I had a nice lunch with my fellow intern and friend Gloria, as well as two of my favorite ladies at HP, Samina and Jen. The food was also excellent, albeit at a restaurant that is ridiculously far, even by commuter standards. It was a very pleasant way to say goodbye to everyone.

Yes, sadly today was my last day at HP. Fortunately, and unlike the other two interns, I had work to do today, keeping me busy well past the time when I had planned on leaving. The two hour lunch didn't help either, but I'm not complaining.....Between working though, I stopped to wallow in sadness. I grew to really enjoy the company of these people and I will truly, truly miss them. The internship was a superb experience, and one that I am very thankful to have had. Tomorrow, it's back to the fake vacation. I have to stop being so emo. So while trudging through the horrendous project I had, I also browsed my favorite b-ball blog and found this video (warning, some language may be offensive):

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Absolutely hilarious. Even funnier if you know who M.O.P. is (the group who performed the song, duh?) Also, M.O.P. stands for Mash Out Posse. Perhaps this could be Mash Out Puppets? It's also funny cause the song is about robbing people, and is essentially the antithesis of all things Sesame Street and Bert and Ernie.


Lil Fame and Billy Danze look nothing like Bert and Ernie. But the video is so well edited, it definitely brought a smile to my pathetically sad face.

Again? Really?!

So since Michelle Wie can't dominate the womens' golf circuit she's decided she'll try her hand at something else. What else is it you ask? Well beating the men of course.

SERIOUSLY!?

I think the days of being labeled a phenom are well beyond the horizon in your rear view mirror ma'am. Please go away, and go away quietly. This is absolutely ridiculous. She has absolutely no business playing against PGA competition when she can't even even when an LPGA event. And yes, getting disqualified for not signing your scorecard does not count as winning an event.

She has turned into golf's version of Anna Kournikova. An attractive, but talentless woman. Please go away. It's clear you're not ready for the big stage. While you had a lot of promise, you have yet to deliver on anything. And it will be interesting to see how long it is before you're dropped by your multi-million dollar sponsors who thought they found the female Tiger Woods.

Vegas Summer League Basketball

Although most people think that basketball is dead during the summer, it most certainly is not. First off, there's the draft, which, for an avid fan, presents an abundance of opportunity to cross your fingers, peruse through countless statistics and footage, and pay your team makes the right call.

For the Kings, we had a decent draft. Jason Thompson's profile reads like he might be a poor-man's Chris Webber (the good one, not the hobbled shell of his former self). A former PG who had a growth spurt in high school and ended up playing power forward in college. So he has some definite ball handling abilities, which he showed in summer league. He also averaged better than 20-10 in college, albeit at Rider. Still he's good. Also, we got Sean Singletary, PG out of Virginia. Singletary was an offensive nightmare for a while, and is definitely a good aquisition in the second round. He also can provide depth at the PG position.

This year was also not short on potential star tallent. Jerryd Bayless, Kevin Love, Derrick Rose, Michael Beasley, the list goes on. The NBA's future looks bright. However, what does annoy me is OJ Mayo getting so much love. He was crowned a future star when he was in sixth grade and has remained on the national radar ever since. Went to USC, and if you ask me was a complete bust. He was supposed to be, hands-down, the number one overall pick. Didn't quite work out that way, as he was drafted third, then traded around. Now, the kid can score, I will definitely give him that. But he's not a PG. He's actually quite turnover prone. Today, I ran across this lovely tidbit on Truehoop:

O.J. Mayo, Grizzlies (No. 3 pick): He had two signature plays -- the dunk and the buzzer-beater -- but he also showed he has the ability to play both guard positions; the game appears to come easy to him. He is a star in the making.

Can play both guard positions? The kid averaged 1-2 in assist to turnover ratios. That's right, for every one assist he dishes out, he turns the ball over twice. Ridiculously bad stat line to throw up there. Never, ever, ever should this kid be considered a guy who can play both guard positions. Unless you have a team running two shooting guards and no point guard. Maybe then, you can say he could play both guard positions. Now, it's just summer league, I know. But how did he do in his one season at USC? 3.3 assists per game, 3.5 turnovers per game. Ummm....yeah, so even in college, he still averaged more turnovers than assists. If nothing else, he did as much harm to his team as he did good, in theory of course (not all turnovers equal conversions by the other team).

I always lobby heavily against the hype train. And this is, of course, another one of those instances. So while Mayo might be a legit scorer in this league in the very near future, please, never, ever, ever say that he can legitimately play the PG role.

Fake Vacation, Coming Soon; Battling Defeat

One last day of work left. Then I re-enter the ranks of the unemployed. Or as I like to call it, I'm going back on fake vacation. Fake vacation consists of making plans, only half of which I will actually accomplish. You see, despite being a pessimist, I'm an optimist when it comes to work output. I always overestimate what I plan on accomplishing and I come out entirely disappointed with the end results.

Part II of this year's fake vacation consists of:

• attempting to write on to law review
• continuing to prep for trial
• planning golf games that never happen
  
• working out more
• researching that project I've been procrastinating on
• maintaining sanity
• pretending like I have a purpose in life

The only thing that excites me about fake vacation? more sleep. Aside from that, I hate when there's no structure to my life.

This past Saturday my team (it's more of Julio's team, although he credits me for being at every function) had their first game. It was a doozy, but I'm so proud of them. We lost. But we knew we would lose from the beginning. There were 13 or 14 of them. There were 5 on our team. There tallest kid was somewhere around 6'2", and burly as I've seen them. I actually questioned their ages aloud. The kids were supposed to be 12 and 13, but these kids definitely looked around the 14-15 year old range. We also have a 10 year old on our team, but the kid is an absolute STUD. He's got a mean crossover, excellent range, and plays with sheer intensity both ways. Natural instincts. I keep saying, if the kid grows a couple of feet, he's bound for college ball for sure.

The first half was sheer dominance. By them. Down 22-7, things were looking bleak. Turnover city. They guarded the fast break well, trapped us. It just wasn't so pretty at first.

Then came the second half. Our team played with intensity. A few blocks, some timely turnovers, a couple of three balls and the score was suddenly 36-26. The kids were playing like they were possessed or something. I was so proud of them. Particularly because our backcourt was full court pressing most of the time and running for forty minutes is insane. Another three, and we were only down 7. But our little run got cut short as they forced some turnovers and burried some buckets. Final score, 42-29 (I think). But I was ecstatic. Our kids played with sheer heart. They looked so defeated afterwards and I felt bad. Julio and I kept trying to encourage them. With no bench, they should be so proud of themselves for keeping it close and not getting absolutely waxed by the opposition. We definitely have some stuff to work on, but there were so many brightspots, I can't wait for the next week. Plus we'll have more depth.