The Vicious Relief

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Proof People Freak When It Snows

I returned to our study room to discover this little present. A snow man. Made outside, then transported indoors.

What?!

Check the location on that bad boy.

Yes. Houston. Yes. Snow. In Houston. Where it was 60-70 degrees yesterday.

The Snow stole my motivation to study like the Grinch Stole Christmas.

People were spazzing when it was flurrying. I laughed. Then I spazzed just like them.

Oh hypocrisy, how I embrace thee.

I'm Sorry Jackie

I shouldn't have thrown a pen at your head from the second story. You had every right to throw the pen in the garbage. In retrospect, a crumpled piece of paper would have worked better with less injurious results.

Although, as you recall, I helped move the couch into your apartment. That should at least count for something. Maybe couch-mover immunity?

Finally a Win Worth Discussing

The Kings beat the Lakers last night. 113-101. WHAT?! I was shocked too. Even going into the fourth quarter, I worried that Darth-Kobe would be taking over and dropping buckets. But no such luck (if you're a FAKERS fan). Why did I post a picture of Jenn from the Royal Court dancers? Well mainly cause, 1) I sat next to her parents at a game a few years back (which was in the top level strangely enough), 2) she's been with the team forever, and 3) she's hot.

Back to the matter at hand. Why is the win worth noting? Because the Kings are ~~terrible~~ "turrible." I frequently text my friend Ant about the status of the Kings.

Lately I've been advocating for the destruction of the team. Trade Miller while he's got some value. Find a player who is worth being traded and throw Kenny (k-9) Thomas in there (he's of no use to us). Finally, surround the present young core (Donte Green, Jason Thompson, Kevin Martin, and Francisco) with some talent. Instruct John Salmons that although his stat line looks amazing, he needs to learn how to play team ball. I don't care if he fills up the stat sheet, I care if he gets the team involved. Beno needs to learn some D, but overall I'm glad we have a decent PG. Bobby Jackson, I love you man, but you just ain't the player you used to be. But it's good to have a fan-favorite, and a vet.

Anyway, you know it's a bad season when you get text messages from your friend saying, ''Mallofs [are] closing in on reality tv show. It's title 'rebuilding the king-dom'" and "we need Kobe."

Regardless, the Kings handed the infamous Kobe and the seemingly-unstoppable Lakers the 'L' last night behind 21 from both Salmons and Garcia. Awesome. The ball movement was good and we even got some Sportscenter coverage. Dope.

Also, something of note worth posting. Via Sactownroyalty, which is hands down the best Kings blog out there, rules for Fakers fans attending King's games at Arco.

1. Do not scream "Brad Miller sucks!" during the National Anthem.
2. Chanting "defense" as a visiting fan in the minority isn't terribly useful.

3. If the game starts at 7PM, try to show up before 7:45. I don't want to have to help you understand that you're in the wrong row while Francisco Garcia is dribbling into the paint. It's not like you can blame the traffic.

4. No chanting "M.V.P." when your team is losing by 13 points with a minute left.

5. If your team loses, please do not begin hollering about championships or the standings. Your team lost. This is what we have just witnessed. We did not all show up to ARCO to discuss Lakers history. We're all aware of it, but we really really don't care after a Kings win.

Sactownroyalty, thanks for holding down all things Kings even when though it's been hard to watch. TZ and the gang are true fans and dope bloggers.

Oh, You Mean It's Not THAT Easy?

I've typically been disgusted by Oprah throughout the course of my life. I think she's very full of herself (that's an understatement). This isn't to say that Oprah doesn't do good things. In fact, I think she does some very, very good things, and often times serves as motivation and inspiration for a lot of people. But she is very quick to pat herself on the back for doing it. And it seems that she's more worried about her image at times than other things (even when her image wasn't really at issue).

For instance, there was infamous James Frey book, "A Million Little Pieces" that she had endorsed via her book club and a special show she dedicated to the book. Then it came out that Frey had made some of it up. Oprah being Oprah, brought Frey on the show to publicly chastise him. And it was less because of Frey making up a story and more for making Oprah look bad. Hey, way to choose the high-road Oprah. Yeah, it was Frey who made you look bad. Nevermind the fact that what he did was morally wrong. The world is all about you O (that's what I like to call her, cause she's so awesome and deserves a one-letter name - oh hey, it's just like her magazine! awesome! I'm creative). Then Frey and his publisher came out and said that Oprah basically conned him into coming onto the show.

As Talese recounted at a televised publishing conference last July, the show invited her and Frey together. Talese initially resisted. Then they were approached with a new pitch. The topic was going to be "Truth in America," and they wanted Talese on a panel with columnists Frank Rich, of The New York Times, and Richard Cohen, from The Washington Post. Given this scenario, Talese agreed. But when she and Frey arrived at Harpo Studios, in Chicago, they were told that the program was not, in fact, about Truth in America; it was about the James Frey controversy. Winfrey told Frey it would be rough, but said there would be redemption in the end. There was no redemption. From beginning to end, it was, according to Talese, "a public scourge."

Smooth O, smooth. Rip the dude for being immoral, but con him into coming on the show so, (a) you can kick him while he's down, and (b) bash him for tarnishing your precious little image. You can read the actual interview with Frey here. Now I'm not endorsing what Frey did. It was unethical and immoral to sell something labeled as non-fiction when he made ~~some~~ most of it up. He should have pulled a Hollywood and said "based on a true story." Works through the red-tape every time. It's like the time I told my friends the story about winning the lottery and blowing it all on black tar heroin. I told them it was based on a true story. It wasn't. In fact, I just made the whole thing up. But you see, I threw out a disclaimer. Back to O. I don't really recall anyone saying how much of a terrible person she was for endorsing the book. After all, she didn't write it. She could have just made a statement in the media that it was unfortunate what Frey did and that she was disappointed she endorsed the book. But instead, she brings him on the show and obliterates the guy on national TV and has the audience booing him all the while. O, it's not your place to publicly humiliate people. That doesn't make you a better person.

Anyway, my real beef lies with O's weight. I can remember her being pretty large back in the day. Then she hired a personal chef or something, lost weight, and said that anyone could do it. I think she forgot to disclaim her statement by saying, "if you've got millions of dollars and can hire a personal chef." Well now the weight is back and there are all kinds of stories floating around about O's struggles with her weight.

In 2005, Winfrey said she starved herself for four months to lose weight. Ever since, her weight has yo-yoed. She weighed as much as 237 pounds and by late 1990 acknowledged she had regained most of the 67 pounds, saying "I'll never diet again."

In 1993, she hired personal trainer Bob Greene and the next year finished the Marine Corps Marathon. By 1996 she said her roller-coaster weight saga was over.

Uhh, starving yourself? And this is the model image of what other people should do? O, is this a case of do as I say, not as I do? Cause I'm pretty sure you shouldn't endorse starving yourself. And how much exactly does O weigh right now? 200 lbs to be approximate. Here's the recount of her weight history.

Winfrey famously wheeled a wagon loaded with fat onto the set of her talk show in 1988 to represent a 67-pound weight loss while wearing a pair of size 10 Calvin Klein jeans. She had lost the weight with a liquid protein diet.

"When it comes to maintaining my health I didn't just fall off the wagon. I let the wagon fall on me," the chairwoman of Harpo Inc. writes. "I didn't follow my own fundamental rule of taking care of self first."

Look, I'm not ripping her for gaining weight. I struggle with eating right, exercising, and being healthy in general. And I know how hard it is. I put 5lbs on over the last two months from not being able to work out. It sucks. All the hard work, gone. But O, what pisses me off is that you try and make it sound so easy when it's not. That's what pisses me off. The holier-than-thou attitude; the "look how easy it is" persona is simple to pull off when you have millions of dollars. OH WAIT. EVEN YOU COULDN'T DO IT. You know why? Because it's difficult. It takes self control, and even when you hire the specialists and the dietitians and the personal trainers, you still fell off. And you let it go for TWO years. So stop trying to make it sound so easy for us common folk.