First Lady Goes to Craphole, CA

Somehow, UC Merced got Michelle Obama to speak at their graduation. Coming from Sticktown (#5 most violent, BABY!), I don't have much room to talk, but come on, Merced? That place is a dump. And it's UC Merced (no offense if you're reading this Lou, or any other graduate). It's a relatively new school, and...it's MERCED.

Apparently they bribed her to come there. By sending her 900 Valentines Day cards. Which, I mean, that would probably be a tell-tale sign that your city sucks really really bad and you're desperate. I mean, a place like L.A., they'd probably be like, "we're LA, we're too cool, you should have to send us 900 Valentines Day cards to get us to invite you." But this isn't the first time the city of Merced has annoyed someone into doing something. Apparently they bugged the University of California Board of Regents till they built a campus in the craphole city. So although you live in a dump, you apparently know how to get what you want Merced - annoy the living hell out of someone till they do what you want. That's kind of like torture.

So in summation, Merced is full of a bunch of torture advocates.

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