Lies! They Must Be Lies

So the "news" is trying to tell me that there was some "advanced" surgery that took place in Australia. The so-called facts are that the doctors had to work for 32 hours to separate the conjoined twins' "brain tissue," in a difficult procedure. Oh, and the twins were rescued from an orphanage in Bangladesh apparently.

Okay, so lets just go ahead and debunk this story before it gets legs and people start thinking that socialized health care can work.

1) 32 hours of surgery? Yeah, okay, well these doctors don't have any incentive to work hard because they're in this socialized system that refuses to reward their hard work. So there's no way that a doctor in a socialized system is going to work more than 8 hours, let alone 32.

2) separating brain tissue? That sounds complicated. And we all know that in a socialized health care system the smart people are also the ones that are driven by wealth. And since there's no incentive for a doctor to make money in such a system, there's no way these doctors could handle such a procedure. Cause the smart people aren't doctors, they're the ones off capitalizing on capitalism (do you like the word play?)

3) Orphanage? Bangladesh? I know, this has got to be made up, because there's no way a bunch of doctors are going to go use their talents to help some orphans even in a socialized system. That sounds too compassionate. Nice try fake-newscast. But this guys isn't fooled. Were these even real doctors? I mean, complicated surgery in a socialized system, compassion for those who can't afford the surgery themselves. There are a lot of things going on that I can't fathom.

4) Australia? This is how I know it's fake. Maybe if this happened at like Johns Hopkins or something, but I know that this type of advanced surgery doesn't happen in other countries. It's impossible. You know why? Cause they're all socialized so there's no incentives to have more advanced health care. They have to wait for an awesome purely (ha!) capitalistic society like ours to make such advancements. You know, in all reality, the true story is that these twins were on some waiting list for months and they never got the care they needed. Yeah, that's right, cause that's how socialized health care systems work. They don't! ZING!

I wish there was a sarcasm font.

via Yahoo